I can't even begin to express the feelings, emotions and gratitude I have. The last few days have been a whirlwind .
Thank you everyone for your kind words of condolence and support for me and my family.
My daughter Kimberly, was a people person collector........she was always the social butterfly......never saw it in it's totality.........till her visitation. Almost 400 people came to give their goodbyes, to lend their comforting words of what "Kim" was all about, the sides that not everyone saw or knew and the "full house" at her service. Wow.
Her life was short, taken far too soon however, the impact she has made, the mark that she has left, is immeasurable. She now has room to fit ALL of her friends in her house at the same time.
As parents we spend so much time on seeing what needs to be done with our children, things we might have wanted to change, things we wish we had or had not done, said or forgotten to do. It doesn't matter what we think, what we feel we did or did not do, things like, "would of", "should of", "could of".
As I sat staring at my daughter moments after she passed, my entire life with her flew through my mind. Right from birth.......and up to her death. How much would I have changed? How much could I have done or changed? How much should I have done? All these questions came in and then to a complete stop!
NOTHING........ I would not and could not have changed the course of HER journey. The course of our journey as a Mother and Daughter............. it was her journey and I was just a facilitator, a guide, a player in her journey. Nothing would have changed the outcome.
She lived her life with such fullness and vigor. Yes, lots of things that I did not approve of but, it wasn't my story........it wasn't my journey.......it was her's. As difficult as it was at times I could do nothing. She was a grown woman, a mind and will of her own.
Children come into the world to teach us.......not the other way around. I learned from my daughters short life that chances are what makes you strong, grow and to live life with a carefree spirit because, if you don't, no one else can.
I will miss her crazy wit, her smile, her laugh and mostly............her physical presence. Her energy was crazy amazing...........that is what I hold onto.
She loved life to the fullest even when it let her down.
Thank you to everyone who's kind words, physical and virtual hugs sent. Going through this gave validation to not just me but, to others that, even though someone is thousands of miles away, the energy of that love and hug are felt!
Hugs everyone. Hold your loved ones tight because you just never know.