What Does Uncoupling Mean?
By Rev. Kathryn Dzsudzsak
Uncoupling………sounds like disconnecting a trailer from a vehicle but this “uncoupling” is about marriage or, the end of a commitment partnership. It is divorcing but not actually divorcing in some cases.
Uncoupling, is a way for people who realize that their “husband/wife/partnership” relationship has changed and they no longer feel the way they did when the exchanged rings, necklace, whatever it was, in wedlock or became “hitched”.
There are a couple of ways and reasons people want to uncouple. One way is how it was described above. The do not necessarily want to divorce for a number of reasons, children, finances, etc. but, want and need to live separate lives. In this case the uncoupling ceremony will be to give the rings or whatever symbolic item it was, back to each other and will no longer be consider each other husband/wife, wife/wife or husband/husband.
The other reason an “uncoupling ceremony” is wanted/needed is for completion. When a couple gets to the point where they realize they are no longer meant to be together and divorce is desired, even though on paper they are no longer married, there is still a connection and most people do not realize it. Being a Grief Recovery Method Specialist and the other work that I do, I see the struggle that some have when a relationship dissolves.
When a couple divorces it is a loss. there is an invisible and unrealized grief that is happening there even though they feel relieved, happy, joyful………it is still a loss and you are in some manner still connected to your former partner. Having an uncoupling ceremony is way of completing this loss. It removes the grief factor because, as in a marriage ceremony where there is joy and love, an uncoupling ceremony can be the same.
It is all about releasing what no longer works, what no longer is meant to be in your life. It is about completing a chapter and saying “goodbye” in a loving way to that part of your life story so you can move forward completely free and happy.
So, uncoupling is disconnecting/ending a relationship that use to work but does not now. You want and/or still need an amicable relationship, even stay living in the same house for what ever reason but, you no longer are a couple. You are friends, roomies, cohabitators, whatever.
If this sounds like something happening in your world, contact me and we can chat.
Designing your unique, private or elaborate “uncoupling” ceremony is personal and does not have to be sad.
Rev. Kathryn Dzsudzsak